According to the internet, ad infinitum means: again and again in the same way; forever. That is how this tunnel journey is feeling. In my mind’s eye, I had created a picture of what this leg of my healing journey would be like…short, to the point, no more than 5-6 stops along the way with easily endured darkness because I would soon reenter the filtered light of the pleasant forest trail of life (haha). As my husband has pointed out on numerous occasions, unreasonable expectations set me up for frustration. And, frustrated I am. Since my next post will be a description of stop number 15 (I’m skipping numbers 13 and 14 to be posted at a later time), the distance I have traveled in this Tolkien-like underground passage is already 3 times longer than I had hoped. Therefore, I must adjust my thinking to accommodate the hard facts about my trip: I don’t know how long or grueling it will be, I don’t know if it is but a detour or a new direction for my entire journey and I don’t know where it is going to take me. So, no more will I include numbers in each post’s title because they are a constant reminder that I am not yet done…and, besides, it is getting tedious. But, I will press on, because my hope and comfort is in the promise of my God, “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” Isaiah 42:16 Also, a compelling goal urges me onward: becoming closer and closer to true freedom and closer and closer to my God.